blessed are the easily amused

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

serious documentarian

Could there be money just to have ideas? I find the notion impossibly delicious. Development money. They give you the money to work on your idea. Crazy bastards. I'll take it. The word dojo machine is hungry and mama needs a new pair of slingbacks in a spring colour.

Friday, March 26, 2004

point taken

Or, then again, you could throw your hands in the air and look me straight in the eye, and say "Screw your pollyanna bullshit. Have you looked out the window today? Can't you see God hates us (prairie dwellers) the most of all his pitiful creatures? That's why he keeps sending more snow and hail and cold."

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

meta shit

The snow is on the losing end of an argument with the tilting of the planet. It's sulking.

Take a good whiff. Earth and refuse fresh from the deep freeze. Go out there and see for yourself. Now walk on puddles. The thin, thin ice with nothing but air under it - you know what sound it makes under a rubber boot? It sounds like a thought bubble popping. (I hear that one a lot.) Smash it! Leave no glass puddle window unsmashed. How many springs do you have left? You don't know. How many while you're able bodied? How many while your loved ones live? How many with your dog? How many? Get out there, I mean it. Sure, it smells like dogshit. That's the point. There's something to smell. Dogshit = you're alive.

Some days it's all just Charlie Brown teacher voice.

Monday, March 15, 2004

washed in the blog of the lamb

Now listen, I don't really cotton to all that stand up sit down knock yourself out for Jesus stuff. But if we really could put other people first, really get out of ourselves, there would definitely be a kind of salvation in that. We're imprisoned to the same degree that we're self absorbed. I get parole occasionally, but I'm serving time with the rest of the narcissistic fools. Me and my blog.

It's a sonofabitch when you realize all the people you envy and even resent for their happiness are suffering. It's just a sonofabitch. The revelations should come tumbling in after that one.

rated G

Guy walks into a bar with booster cables hanging over his shoulder.
Bartender says: "You better not start anything."

reflections of a wedding singer

If you could save time in a bottle, I think it would be a good idea to carbonate it, so that later when you opened it, it would make a sort of 'sshhh!' sound as all your fuck-ups went rushing out.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

the cat's pajamas

When the cat's away, the mouse will sit around in flannel pajamas playing the cat's 1958 National hollowbody.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

true cliches

Sam stopped in for a brief hello between Saltspring Island and Southern Ontario. It went something like this:

Sam: Hm! Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.