blessed are the easily amused

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

I'm so healthy I could cry

Nothing but organic fruits and vegetables for three, going on four, days now. What on earth am I thinking? Undoubtedly something like this:

If I do this, it will give me superpowers that allow me to overcome pesky self-doubt.

It will also placate Sam for a moment so he'll forget that I'm a totally weak slob, with my smoking and drinking and coffee and chicken and all the other good things in life.

Oh, God - the thought of a dark, voluptuous mug of coffee warming my hands is actually making me dizzy.

Saturday will be the last day - if I haven't sprouted a cape and golden bustier by then, I will resume eating human-style. You know, it's a great idea. I'm sure that unbeknownst to me my colon is rejoicing, having a little garden party down there. I will have probably added a good 30 seconds to my life. It's great. Fuck.


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