blessed are the easily amused

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

chapter 1 - a bathroom of one's own

In which our heroine discovers the curative powers of housework.

I've just turned a corner in my life and found my inner Mom standing in the middle of the road holding a toilet brush. This is the way to mend a broken heart: with the power of oxy clean. With the fresh citrus scent of fanfuckingtastik.

Oh my god, Self. I've never seen you this way; are you sure you're OK?

Why, sure I am, honey - (peering under the fridge) Say, is that some dust under there?

But Self, you're going through some big changes - don't you think you should take some time to think about what it all means? I mean, who are you now? Aren't you freaking out?

No, silly goose! I know exactly who I am. I'm the lady who makes sure this place is spit spot! I won't stand for any sloth around here.

But it's just you.

OK, you little brat. To your room! Go and listen to your 'rock and roll' music, missy.


7 Comments:

Blogger Dar said...

Now that, my friend, is some good, clean comedy.

Wed Aug 04, 08:33:00 AM

 
Blogger green said...

it's fine, even i can be driven to housework by heartache or depression.

Wed Aug 04, 07:56:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think thats totally normal.
one of the only times I get in the cleaning mode hardcore like that (other then the daily OMG look at this kitchen if I dont clean this RIGHT now I wont be able to move on with my life) is when I am angry-frustrated or trying to avoid somthing.
so embrace this cleaning power you have right now who knows when it will be gone for good.
sal

Thu Aug 05, 12:39:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Green, you must be pretty damn happy lately then.
Yeah - you heard me.
It's showtime.
...
I wish I had a home.
I wish I had a bathroom, to call my own.
I wish I had my own toilet, I wish I had my own sink,
I wish I had my own chair, to sit, jerk off... and think.
- to be sung by a midget.
...
I believe our heroine should pee in a circle around her house, then sitting on the porch unbathed, unkempt, wearing big rubber muddy boots and a flithy (once pretty) dress, she drinks wine from a big jug and spits a lot, sometimes wiping the sweat from her forehead with a newspaper crumpled at your side. Or maybe some variation thereof. It's all a movie - it's all halloween.

-chris

Thu Aug 05, 02:20:00 PM

 
Blogger the hun said...

my heartbreak looks more like that. I am not lent to cleaning when desolate. I do remain potty-trained, but that's about it.

Fri Aug 06, 12:16:00 PM

 
Blogger lisa said...

That's me when I'm happy.

Fri Aug 06, 05:34:00 PM

 
Blogger sally said...

HAHAHAHAHA
Cudshire.
shiiiiiiiiit

Fri Aug 06, 09:50:00 PM

 

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