blessed are the easily amused

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

chapter 1 - a bathroom of one's own

In which our heroine discovers the curative powers of housework.

I've just turned a corner in my life and found my inner Mom standing in the middle of the road holding a toilet brush. This is the way to mend a broken heart: with the power of oxy clean. With the fresh citrus scent of fanfuckingtastik.

Oh my god, Self. I've never seen you this way; are you sure you're OK?

Why, sure I am, honey - (peering under the fridge) Say, is that some dust under there?

But Self, you're going through some big changes - don't you think you should take some time to think about what it all means? I mean, who are you now? Aren't you freaking out?

No, silly goose! I know exactly who I am. I'm the lady who makes sure this place is spit spot! I won't stand for any sloth around here.

But it's just you.

OK, you little brat. To your room! Go and listen to your 'rock and roll' music, missy.


Blogger Dar said...

Now that, my friend, is some good, clean comedy.

Wed Aug 04, 08:33:00 AM

Blogger green said...

it's fine, even i can be driven to housework by heartache or depression.

Wed Aug 04, 07:56:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think thats totally normal.
one of the only times I get in the cleaning mode hardcore like that (other then the daily OMG look at this kitchen if I dont clean this RIGHT now I wont be able to move on with my life) is when I am angry-frustrated or trying to avoid somthing.
so embrace this cleaning power you have right now who knows when it will be gone for good.

Thu Aug 05, 12:39:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Green, you must be pretty damn happy lately then.
Yeah - you heard me.
It's showtime.
I wish I had a home.
I wish I had a bathroom, to call my own.
I wish I had my own toilet, I wish I had my own sink,
I wish I had my own chair, to sit, jerk off... and think.
- to be sung by a midget.
I believe our heroine should pee in a circle around her house, then sitting on the porch unbathed, unkempt, wearing big rubber muddy boots and a flithy (once pretty) dress, she drinks wine from a big jug and spits a lot, sometimes wiping the sweat from her forehead with a newspaper crumpled at your side. Or maybe some variation thereof. It's all a movie - it's all halloween.


Thu Aug 05, 02:20:00 PM

Blogger the hun said...

my heartbreak looks more like that. I am not lent to cleaning when desolate. I do remain potty-trained, but that's about it.

Fri Aug 06, 12:16:00 PM

Blogger lisa said...

That's me when I'm happy.

Fri Aug 06, 05:34:00 PM

Blogger sally said...


Fri Aug 06, 09:50:00 PM


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