blessed are the easily amused

Thursday, September 30, 2004

beauty routine

Did I ever tell you about the time I was doing homecare for old folks? It was one of the few times I've actually felt my work was of use to anyone. But it was also fertile ground for funny stories about defenseless seniors who are losing their memory.

Walter was a really decent and amiable man who happened to have Alzheimer's. His wife had gone away for Easter weekend. I was to hang out at their place and help him remember to take care of himself. "Just basic personal hygiene." Pretty easy work, frankly. I watched some TV, cooked some pork chops, and strolled around with Walter as he told me stories of his pilot days with the RCAF. Fantastic stories. He once rescued a maiden from a moose-infested jungle with nothing but a pair of tweezers and an autographed Rocket Richard hockey stick.

In the morning, I would check to see if he had performed the appropriate old-guy ablutions.

"Walter, did you shave?"

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Yup, I did."

"Didja wash your face?"

"Sure did!"

"Hmm, what about your teeth. Did you brush your teeth?"

He paused for a second. "Nope. I didn't brush my teeth." He turned around and shuffled back toward the bathroom to rectify the situation.

"Hey Walter. Hold on a second."

He turned.

"Could you smile for me?"

He hardly hesitated at all, as he was prone to smiling anyway. And as the beatific grin spread over his freshly-shaven face, I noticed that it contained not a single tooth.

"Don't worry about the brushing, Walter. I think it's fine."

4 Comments:

Blogger :: c :: said...

That stirs up memories. We used to visit my grandparents on my dad's side in Vancouver every summer. It was great. My grandpa used to do this thing where every morning he would pretend he lost his teeth so my brother and I would go on this Easter egg style hunt for them. Whoever found them first (yea! I found teeth!), got a dollar, which would later be spent at the Baskin Robbins across the street.
My grandpa. He was a wicked dude.

Fri Oct 01, 04:46:00 AM

 
Blogger Huckleberry Finnegan said...

Old people are funny.

Fri Oct 01, 03:07:00 PM

 
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