the cards know all

You may not know this about me but, in addition to my many startling and useless talents, I'm a fortune teller. No, seriously, ask me anything. It's uncanny.

Last night's tarot reading:

past - princess of cups (page of cups)
present - lust (strength)
future - 2 of cups

Basically this indicates that my past as a passive, invertebrate loser in love and my future in a satisfying relationship with a wealthy 95-year-old are separated by a brief stint as a dominatrix.