blessed are the easily amused

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

super accelerated tubby beats with flatulent bassline support

I am nothing like a mall. I do not boast thousands of visitors per week, I don't have security that will kick your skinny skateboarding ass off my premises and, perhaps most importantly, I don't have truckloads of frilly and suggestive undergarments on display at all times.

There is perhaps one way in which I am like a mall. It is this: My brain is already piping Christmas carols through its P.A. system. But they're not shitty muzak carols. They're more like this.

I will not apologize. I goddamn well like Christmas.

I am now braced for reams of anti yuletide sentiments and a full education on the wrongness of participating in an evil, empty, consumer orgy that symbolizes nothing but the hostile takeover of common sense by right wing fundamentalists who pillaged pagan spirituality to build their own religious monstrosity with which to colonize and exploit the masses. Bring it.

7 Comments:

Blogger green said...

hee hee, no its okay- it doesn't take much to get into it, especially the music part of it. I have been teaching 7-12 yr olds jingle bell rock, silent night, good king wenceslas etc. They are so excited with their super-erratic beats with wrong bassnote support its hard not to be smiling with them.

Wed Nov 17, 12:27:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bring it? It's already brought-en... My dear Pollyanna, I hope you always keep that warm, gushy feeling. It keeps the world beautiful. I promise to cook thousands of cookies and lefse and give them to every bah-humbuggar I see this season.

Wed Nov 17, 01:47:00 PM

 
Blogger jack said...

I will pick mushrooms, and make a mushroom soup, and a mushroom salad. I will also put up a picture of Adam and Eve, wearing very little, and talking to their giant reptilian overlords.

The Mall is out.

Wed Nov 17, 02:50:00 PM

 
Blogger :: c :: said...

It would be easy to hate Christmas, and be a bitch-ass about it, pointing out the commercialism and all the other isms the holiday has morphed into. But, that isn't anything shocking. I am a Satanist before a Christian, and I love it. Christmas is a great mass-mind view of the human race. Outwardly colourful and flashy, full of joy, yet underneath are traces of resentment and bitterness. Where we want to be vs. Where we come from. I like that. People get agitated, there's energy, that's good.

Fri Nov 19, 12:52:00 PM

 
Blogger jack said...

Do you mean Satanist or Santanist?

Fri Nov 19, 01:40:00 PM

 
Blogger the hun said...

I like to sing songs and give people presents. Period.

Mon Nov 22, 11:47:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello,updates? I know we are all very busy with festivus, but seriously your blog is much better than most out there and one month without a post is like being a wilted flower in a garden of sorrow. your blog rejuvenates me.

Tue Dec 14, 12:55:00 AM

 

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